I had a text-collage text-file on my PC desktop at work. Snippets of half-finished poems and half-captured messenger conversations.

I emailed the file home on my last day of work.

Today's collection of words were born in the past. Half-finished partial truths.


Angel

I'm in jail with an angel
yet I still can't see our jail cell...

I stole his halo years ago
he's counting backwards... (7 fears to go!)

I guard this shiny ring I took
it hangs around my neck
I sleep with one eye open
in case he tries to steal it back

So I wake early every morning
and he greets me with a glare
I tried to put this all behind us
(he's really being quite unfair!)

There was once another in this coop
but he is long since gone
he used to whisper in the angel's ear
so I played him as my pawn

On that fateful night
with my chess piece fast asleep
I took the angel aside
I spun a tale about a black sheep

"oh dear angel let me tell you
about our sleeping friend
he has committed unspeakable horrors
the poor children had no chance to defend"

By the time that I was through with him
the angel was enraged
he did not want this evil man
to share room in our cage

Next a strange thing happened
when the angels hands were red
I watched as his large halo
slowly fell from off his head

So it was mine for the taking
but it wasn't worth the price
For I have no use for halos
locked up here in this device


God

What if there was a god
but he wasn't all that great
it didn't take him seven days... no, it took him eight

He started this experiment so many years ago
he left it on his work bench
a half forgotten project left to grow

Just like Alex Fleming and his molding piece of bread
we were a happy accident
one that god soon learned to dread

For he was just a mad man
he never asked for all this praise
he never spoke these words of wisdom that so many paraphrase


Vibing

My eyes are closed and I feel a smile take over. The kind of smile that if I rocked it all night I would have a sore face the next day. I could be anywhere right now. I open my eyes to a sea of smiles... not the dopey chemical kind but the kind that mirror my state of mind. It's almost like we are all sharing some kind of unspoken universal inside joke. Temporary knowing eye contact from a stranger. Positive reinforcement without having to resort to words. Words that sound silly if I say them over and over. Words that we invented in an attempt to describe the world around us, but could never properly describe the world within us.


Ritual

the hour is half empty
your stomach should be half full
your skin could be quite itchy after that scrubbing with steel wool

but the wool was never stolen
and time's only in your head
counting down the seconds until you're finally dead

the first meeting's at the church
the second, at the hidden hill
you bring the sacrifice and I'll bring the suicide pill

wear only the essentials
leave your ID back at home
the Armageddon suit is made entirely of foam

memorize the words of ritual
cross your heart and hope to fly
near the end of our ceremony you should see something in the sky

they are coming here to save us
bringing peace, happiness and joy
we can only take one child and it better be a boy

in their world there is no money
so before the ship you mount
remember to transfer your savings into this numbered account

on earth you live in terror
a world of fear made by your mind
you once asked me why I cared for you, (I was only being kind)

I knew you needed something
I'm your saviour and your knight
the final act might be painful but don't put up a fight

once the act is over
they will bring you into their lives
remember in their world you get to have 3 wives

so now I bid you farewell
I have many more to save
now you'll finally taste the greener grass that I know you crave


Monkeys in waiting

takes the brakes off in your mind
let your thoughts flow in realtime

with the music in the background
there is treason on the pitchers mound

playing mind games with backcatchers
tapping into the wax scratchers

now I'm calling for a rewind
so I hope y'all won't mind

I've got a second mind about the issues
I don't cry so no need for tissues

Unless I'm cleaning faces
painted with lies to help round the bases

scored way too many homeruns
I'm working to increase my funds

in the end the money's useless

got a mind full of half regrets

thoughts lost between the pages
haven't seen my mind in ages

life can be left on auto pilot
I've never seen a group of monkeys riot

they still have social structures
but they'll never practice acupuncture

they don't kill for sport
Use reason as a last resort

I'll pick the insects of your back tonight
If tomorrow we schedule in a fight

happiness can sometimes bore me
and the herbs will help restore me

to my once and future image
then I'll settle for a scrimmage

life flips the coins as we sit begging

for change to fill my pocket and my thoughts

as time slips through my fingers


When dreams dream

I lie silently
Waiting and watching the world that I do not understand
and I do not care to

The emerald cushion of grass stretches out from beneath me
I can feel it through my clothes
on my skin
it holds me softly as I lie here
looking up at a sea of light blues and soft whites
always changing

In the not so distant distance I hear the sound of water kissing sand
and innocent laughter

The warmth of the sun and the cooling breeze wrestle for my skins attention
the sun is winning

I breathe in deeply through my nose
wishing that my lungs would never reach capacity

Thoughts glide through my head
much quicker than the clouds drifting above me

Ideas branch out
like the trees I know are so close by
but out of view

I close my eyes to allow daydreams to flow
but I cannot think of any place or time better than this
so I dream of now
of here


Look

If I lied about everything, would that make it less real?
Do you really have to live it in order to feel?

I feel sorry for the suffering I see on TV.
But inside I'm glad that it's them and not me.

Most often I will analyse to the Nth degree
and yet I fall in love with dreams so easily. (Or is it more like tripping?)
I search the want ads for the perfect newspaper clipping.

If I daydream at school does that mean that I'm skipping?

I skip out on responsibility and I side step through doors.
Would I be more of a man if I had fought in a war?

United we stand.
Divided we fall.
But would I need others if I grew really tall?

Sometimes I wonder if I got the short end of the stick.
You'll buy me ice cream but I'll refuse to lick.
I bite down. (Is that the bitter taste of success?)

Double the C and double the S.
And you would never guess
that I could wrap electricians tape around itself
and make something that resembles a bullet.

I built it.
But they did not come.

I don't take candy from strangers
as a rule of thumb.

So many guidelines to follow as we wander through life.
Don't steal.
Don't murder.
Don't cheat on your wife.

In a world that values form over function,
you can always stop the trial with an injunction.

At least that what I learned watching Ally McBeal.
(An anorexic lawyer in a court of appeal.)

If I lied about everything, would that make it less real?
Do you really have to live it in order to feel?

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